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+====== New Stock Market Terms ======
+Due to today's rapidly changing stock market, the following terms
+have had to be revised for investors in order to more clearly reflect
+today's economic condition:
+CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.
+CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.
+BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to
+	mistake himself for a financial genius.
+BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance
+	the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
+VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
+P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
+	market keeps crashing.
+BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
+STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
+STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
+STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets
+	equally between themselves.
+FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
+MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
+CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the
+	toilet.
+YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240
+	per share.
+WINDOWS 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who
+	bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
+INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Last year investor who's now locked up in a
+	nuthouse.
+PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.
+-- Main.FredPettis - 20 Oct 2008